


Million Miles from Heaven

by chlorineandcoffeestains (AdrenalineRevolver)



Series: Are You There? [5]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-04
Packaged: 2017-12-07 12:05:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/748319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrenalineRevolver/pseuds/chlorineandcoffeestains
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clouding up my vision, I am drowning in religion, and I’m still a million miles from heaven</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm drowning in religion

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fancifullauren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fancifullauren/gifts), [KissTheBoy7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KissTheBoy7/gifts).



Easter Service is a family affair. Grantaire could see a blonde mop of hair, too long and too curly, four pews ahead of him. He had not had a chance to catch Enjolras’ eye before Mass and now he was sandwiched between the end of the pew and my sister. The plus of her being there meant he knew he wasn’t alone in his boredom. She had made it very clear to their mother how much she disliked religion, it made their mother even more determined to ‘save’ him. 

There were too many people. Too many half practicing Catholics that squeezed into the pews that really could only hold nine people and too many crying children. R had given a small boy that was fidgeting in the row in front of him a piece of string. He refrained from snapping at the boy’s parents for expecting him to sit through an hour and a half service and behave. The string gave him a distraction to fiddle with and twist around his fingers. The only problem was now R had nothing to do with his hands. Fuck. 

Stand up. Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. It took far too long to reach the sermon and when it came, R wished he could disappear. Really he should have guessed it, with the current senate debate, he should have guessed, but he had been stupid. Grantaire had thought that the increase of fence sitters would result in a dull Mass about returning to the church, nope, not at Saint William. 

Every fiber of his being wanted to move, to run, to interrupt, to do anything but sit there and her about how he needed to pray about keeping the sanctity of marriage. What fucking sanctity? The divorce rate was higher in the church.


	2. I want to Dream in Public

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> all the rules I want to break and all the plans I want to make

Enjolras was sinking lower and lower into his seat, or he would, if he was not flanked by both parents. both parents that are in the process of a divorce and hate each other, he might add.  
So he clenched his fists and listened to the decon drown on. The man was nice, if a bit stiff, and in charge of the sunday school program. He had always been nice to Enjolras but up in the front of the Easter congregation, he was transformed. Wrong. He glared at the man. Wrong. You didn’t do your research. 

Everything was wrong. The small facts. The generalizations. Enjolras was ready to fight someone. This wasn’t how the church was supposed to work. Had anyone read the Bible.

He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in.

If anyone here knew he was gay, or that he had sex, or that he stood by while his boyfriend drank, what would they say? They would tell him he wasn’t a Christian.

Maybe he wasn’t.

But they didn’t spend hours preparing to teach a fourth grade class or volunteering. 

Did hours matter? 

no.

Hours and numbers. Thats how they tallied up Christianity. Measured it on some scale that was heavily weighted. What type of culture was this? Early Puritan Church of America?

(Did you know the word Puritan is not capitalized in England? R, why are you obsessed with grammar? Because they took the apostrophe off my street sign. I live on Lafayettes now, not Lafayette’s. Plural. As if there are more of them important to our nation’s history.) 

He needed to get R out of his head. 

Enjolras should have known what he was getting into. It had been three years of fighting out the war of his sexuality behind a polite face. 

There R came along. 

He knew he had crossed a line there. Gone from playing a game that he had not committed to, to this.

God I need your guidance. Tell me what it means to live a life where nothing’s as it seems, spending days in fear and silent prayer and hoping one day when I wake those feeling won’t be there.

But no. He didn’t want to lose R. R who would worry that he was making Enjolras upset. R who would question if he was there to damn Enjolras or help him navigate a maze. R who let himself drown in sound and dance or move or half explode so he wouldn’t have to think or feel.

He would take R over the church. That was a certainty.

But the church wasn’t God. 

Was it?

**Author's Note:**

> there will be more, I promise


End file.
